I Was A Teen-Age Balloon Boy

With all the media attention about the so-called Balloon Boy over the past couple of days I felt compelled to come clean. It is time to spill the beans, let the cat out of the bag and throw myself on the mercy of the court of public opinion. I am guilty. Guilty of more than using a bunch of tired clichés. I am guilty of being a Teenage Balloon boy. To be more precise, I was an accomplice of a Teenage Balloon Boy.

For a short period of time in the 70’s you could purchase small cans of helium at toy stores. They were the size of a can of Wizard Air Freshener and contained only enough helium for about a dozen balloons. That was all that was needed for our Great Balloon Hoax.

My cousin received a couple of cans of Helium for his Birthday. You would have thought it would have been for the balloons for his party, but no, they were for him to have fun with. This was the days 1970’s years before Xbox, Wii and Guitar Hero. Boys had to have something to do. After the party, his plan was revealed. He would fill several balloons with helium and let them go in hopes of ascertaining how far they could go. How could he track them in the days before sophisticated equipment you may ask. Well that is where the hoax comes.

Each balloon contained a note that promised the finder a cash prize by calling the number enclosed. As we watched each latex sphere ascend into the air, our excitement increased. We never really thought about what would happen when or if someone actually found one of the balloons or it’s remnants. After a few days we found out. A woman called my cousin asking for the award that was promised to the finder of a balloon. When my Aunt discovered the hoax she was not happy. She had to apologize to the disappointed balloon recipient. The hoax did accomplish the desired result as we did discovered how far the balloons would travel. The balloon that the lady found traveled only a few miles.

It feels good to get that off my chest. Of course, all I did was watch the balloons take off. That and laugh when my cousin got into trouble. It’s not as funny now. Actually, helium is not a good thing for kids to play with. It was a much simpler time and we were just simple enough to get a thrill of watching balloons float into the sky.